Did you know if you chop a horse in two and then bang the two halves together it sound just like someone riding a coconut.
Even though we both speak the same language, it's amazing how there are some subtle differences between American-English and proper English:
They say "sidewalk" we say "pavement"
They say "pants" we say "trousers"
They say "buried at sea" we say "naked and chained to a metal bed frame with a car battery connected to his bollocks whilst being beaten for answers".
I call my weed the Qur'an, because when you burn that shit, You get stoned.
I hate being bipolar, it's fantastic.
Little Jimmy was admitted to hospital yesterday after having 6 toy horses lodged up his butt
The doctors have described his condition as stable.
Just watched the Bin Laden video of him watching himself. That looks like a man in a desparate need of a four-way extension lead & cable tie.