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Your Horoscope for Today

DoctorWho on 18. Aug, 2010 — Lang: English

Your Horoscope for Today
  • Description

    This is based on Wierd Al Yanchovic's song "Your Horoscope for today" NOTE: I am not trying to make fun of anybody. If I was I would leave mine out of it, but i didn't make it, so if you think its offensive, don't blame me, take it to Al. Feel free to comment and rate!

    Transcript

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    AQUARIUS

    There's travel in your future when your tounge freezes to the back of a speeding bus

    Fill that void in your pathetic live by playing Wack-A-Mole 17 hours a day Pisces

    Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola Virus

    You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say ARIES

    The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 lb. watermelon in your colon

    Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf and give a hickey to Meryl Streep LIBRA

    A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you

    Laughter is the very best medicine. Remember that when your appendix bursts next week VIRGO

    All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent
    EXCEPT FOR YOU!

    Ecpect a big surprize today, when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick LEO

    Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face
    (OH NO)

    Eat a bucket of tuna flavored pudding then wash it down gallon of strawberry quick CANCER

    The position of Jupiter says you should the rest of the week face down in the mud

    Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your drivers test GEMINI

    Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence

    Your love live will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javalin through your chest TAURUS

    You will never find true happiness, whatcha gonna do cry about it?

    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep CAPRICORN

    The stars say that your an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying

    If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again SAGITARIUS

    All your friends are laughing behind your back
    KILL THEM

    Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den SCORPIO

    Get ready for an unexpected trip, when you fall screaming from an open window

    Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak

    Tags:
    Horoscope, funny, comedy
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Comments

  • liebre 2.9.2010
    mmmmh
    !!!EN ESPAÑOL¡¡¡
  • Ganryu 19.8.2010
    Thats gold! Pure gold! Im a Taurus aswell.
  • DoctorWho 19.8.2010
    Myself, I am destined never to find true happiness...
    but the second part is true pretty much everyday, except for the days where I never wake up
  • SnakeYukin 18.8.2010
    Oh Weird Al... trying to recall if I have this song. I've heard it, but don't know if I have it.
  • Varg 18.8.2010
    ROFL! Hilarious! Flatulence and a javelin throug my chest is evidently in my future...

Displaying 5 out of 5 comments.