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De-bawk Time

Pen_alias on 4. Dec, 2016 — Lang: English

De-bawk Time
  • Transcript

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    Good evening and welcome to Farming Lines. Tonight’s debate topic: what to have for Christmas dinner, turkey or ham?

    Representing ham, we have a pig. Representing turkey, we have a turkey.

    Ham, my friends, is the Christmas meat in this country. A spiral cut honey-baked ham is a tradition dating back to antiquity.

    Friends, I implore you; don’t stuff your face with another dry, overfed, overrated bird a mere month after you’ve already wrecked your diet over one. The turkey has had its day; give pigs a chance!

    Hooray!!!

    Ah-hem: thank you pig. You’ve made some interesting points - most of them wrong. I’m pretty sure honey-baked hams don’t date back to antiquity. I was there and I don’t remember seeing one.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the turkey is a bird for all seasons. A feast without a turkey at its center can hardly be called a feast.

    Even Dickens himself, the man who brought to our consciousness the very foundations of what Christmas dinner is today, regarded turkey as the very height of yuletide cuisine.

    When, in A Christmas Carol, Scrooge stops the boy on the street to send him to the poulterer’s to buy for the Cratchits a main course that would truly make their Christmas Dinner one to remember, does he send him to inquire after the prize ham in the window? No, I should say not!

    Why would a poulterer have a ham in the window?

    Exactly!

    He just crossed his own T there, didn’t he?

    Tags:
    chicken, turkey, dog, fly, duck, cow, nothing of importance
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